“Yo mama’s so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was still just getting sick.” There's 24 more.
Yo Mama jokes are a time-honored tradition. As an art form, insulting someone’s mother dates back to the Babylonians. Even Shakespeare went there (Titus Andronicus, Act IV, Scene II, Google it). It’s been the most popular open-source joke format for over 5,500 years. Essentially, all you need is someone you want to aggravate, preferably someone with a good sense of humor… Oh, and it is always helpful to know ahead of time if their mother is still alive, because that sh*t can get aaaaaawkward.
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So, to honor this specific joke format (and our favorite method of violating the Fifth Commandment), we’re offering the following 25 Yo Mama jokes into the Hall of Fame.
“Yo mama’s so fat that when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.”
“Yo mama’s so ugly she went into a haunted house and they handed her an application.”
“Yo mama’s so dumb that she spent 2 hours starting at a glass of orange juice because it said ‘concentrate’ on the package.”
“Yo mama’s so lazy, she has a stay-at-home job and still is late to work.”
“Yo mama’s so dumb, she failed a survey.”
“Yo mama’s so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, ‘To be continued.’”
“Yo mama’s so stupid she told me to meet her at the corner of Walk and Don’t Walk.”
“Yo mama’s so fat she wakes up in sections.”
“Yo mama’s so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was still just getting sick.”
“Yo mama’s so dumb, she got fired from the M & M factory for throwing away all the W’s.”
“Yo mama’s so old, her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.”
“Yo mama’s so fat that when she went to KFC the cashier asked, ‘What size bucket?’ and yo momma said, ‘The one on the roof.’”
“Yo mama’s so old she has an autographed Bible.”
“Yo mama’s so hairy, when she posted her sex tape online it got flagged for bestial*ty.”
“Yo mama’s so skinny she hula hoops with a Cheerio.”
“Yo mama’s so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.”
“Yo mama’s so fat that when she died, not even her ghost could float.”
“Yo mama's teeth are so yellow, that when she smiles, traffic slows down.”
“Yo mama’s so dumb, she bought a solar-powered flashlight.”
“Yo mama’s armpits stink so bad, she made Right Guard turn left.”
“Yo mama’s so fat that when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.”
“Yo mama’s so ugly, she could scare the sh*t out of the toilet.”
“Yo mama went in for an examination. The doctor told yo mama ‘Take your clothes off. Now get down on all fours against this wall over here. Now get down on your knees against this corner right here. Now get down on your knees against this corner right here. Now this corner right here. OK, put your clothes on.’
She said ‘What's wrong with me, Doc?’
He says, “Ain't nothing wrong with you. I'm just buying a sofa next week. I just wanna see where it’d fit.”
The Classic Truce Fake-Out
“Let’s get off of mothers, man… I just got off of yours.”
The Yo Mama Joke Champion: Lavelle Crawford’s Mama
Never get into a Yo Mama joke battle with yo mama.
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