by Anderson Cox 0 Comment
Funny Celebrity quotes are a hilarious set of quotes from many different celebrities that are full of humor and sometimes weird. You will finds quotes from Ellen Degeneres who is always funny and others like Brad Pitt. These famous people can conjure some really weird and funny quotes, but you should read for yourself.
Short Funny Celebrity Quotes
Short funny celebrity quotes are a compilation of sayings from famous people. Funny friendship quotes, like funny celebrity quotes share some of the funniest quotes that could ever come from a person’s lips. When you read some of what was said, you sometimes have to wonder what the celebrities were really thinking at the time. We should never forget there are people just like us though. Below are some of the funniest celebrity quotes.
Quote #1
“Crack is cheap. I make too much money to ever smoke crack. Let’s get that straight. OK? We don’t do crack. We don’t do that. Crack is whack.”
Whitney Houston
Quote #2
“Is this chicken or is this fish?”
Jessica Simpson
Quote #3
“Psychiatry is a pseudoscience…. You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do…Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, Matt, you don’t even -you’re glib. You don’t even know what Ritalin is.”
Tom Cruise Arguing With Matt Laurer
Quote #4
“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
Arnold Schwarzeneger
Quote #5
“I thought Europe was a country?”
Kellie Pickler
Quote #6
“I just want one day off when I can go swimming and eat ice cream and look at rainbows.”
Mariah Carey
Quote #7
“The virginity issue. There are so many emotions involved that I would like to be able to wait until I know I’m with the right person and I’m married.”
Britney Spears
Quote #8
“Wal-mart… do they like make walls there?”
Paris Hilton
Quote #9
“All of ’em, any of ’em that have been in front of me over all these years.”
Sarah Palin
Quote #10
“I’m not anorexic. I’m from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I’ve never heard of one. And that includes me.”
Britney Spears
Quote #11
“I liked Michael Jackson better dark. And I liked his nose a lot better, too. If he has any more taken off, I don’t know how he’s gonna breathe.”
Loretta Lynn
Quote #12
“They misunderestimated me.”
George Bush
Quote #13
“I make Jessica Simpson look like a rock scientist.”
Tara Reid
Quote #14
“Can we got on with this? I’ve got to do AIDS and Alzheimer’s and land mines this afternoon, and I want to get back for Deal or No Deal. Plus, Gwyneth’s making drumsticks.”
Chris Martin
Quote #15
“I’ll be honest, I felt an urge to squeeze him like a kitten and that led to the gesture I made. There was nothing behind it really.”
Vladimir Putin
Quote #16
“He looks like a girl.”
Marlon Brando on Leonardo DiCaprio
Quote #17
“Occasionally. One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes.”
George Bush
Quote #18
“I’ve never heard a Jay-Z song.”
Miley Cyrus
Quote #19
“My life is an open book. With illustrations.”
Hugh Hefner
Quote #20
“I didn’t have a big fat Greek wedding, but I have a lot of fat Greek friends.”
Pete Sampras
Quote #21
“Let’s face it: The teeth are getting more and more British every day. I look in the mirror and see Austin Powers staring at me.”
Hugh Grant
Quote #22
“Motown, Motown, that’s my era. Those are my people.”
Hillary Clinton
Quote #23
“I don’t feel restless, I just like to travel.”
Brad Pitt
Quote #24
“People all over the world recognize me as a spiritual leader.”
Steven Seagal
Quote #25
“I am truly not one to give advice. I’m divorced and I stole my best friend’s husband.”
Denise Richards
Quote #26
“I get to go to a lot of overseas places, like Canada.”
Britney Spears
Quote #27
“I actually don’t understand a word Paula’s saying anymore. It’s like a new language.”
Simon Cowell
Quote #28
“Somebody needs to teach you some class, my friend. You don’t go grabbin’ somebody else’s, somebody’s husband’s [private parts], you understand me? That’s very disrespectful.”
Faith Hill
Quote #29
“This is the only naked man that will ever be in my bedroom.”
Melissa Etheridge
Quote #30
“This is possibly the most shameful situation I’ve ever gotten myself in in my life, and I’ve done some pretty dumb things in my life. So to actually make a new No. 1 is spectacularly stupid.”
Russell Crowe
Quote #31
“I want to focus on my salad.”
Martha Stewart
Quote #32
“I got to party and socialize at an Olympic level.”
Bode Miller
Quote #33
“I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade. I will be the loudest voice.”
Kanye West
Quote #34
“I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm liked a baked good. I love the smell of Balmex. Love it.”
Sarah Jessica Parker
Quote #35
“Those jeans are comfortable, and for those of you who want your president to look great in his tight jeans, I’m sorry I’m not the guy. It just doesn’t fit me. I’m not 20.”
Barack Obama
Quote #36
“You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”
Brooke Hogan
Quote #37
“The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.”
Helen Hayes
Quote #38
“Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.”
Carl Sandburg
Quote #39
“If life gives you lemons, make some kind of fruity juice.”
Conan O’Brien
Quote #40
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”
Will Smith
Quote #41
“If you’re gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty.”
Marilyn Monroe
Quote #42
“To write a diary every day is like returning to one’s own vomit.”
Enoch Powell
Quote #43
“I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”
Ellen Degeneres
Quote #44
“Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.”
Benjamin Franklin
Quote #45
“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
Oscar Wilde
Quote #46
“Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.”
Lou Erickso
Quote #47
“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.”
Woody Allen
Quote #48
“God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.”
Tara Reid
Quote #49
“Don’t waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window. Or break down a door.”
Brooke Shields
Quote #50
“In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.”
Will Ferrell
Quote #51
“A word to the wise ain’t necessary. It’s the stupid ones who need the advice.”
Bill Cosby
Quote #52
“As long as you know men are like children, you know everything!”
Coco Chanel
Quote #53
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”
Will Ferrell
Quote #54
“I like women, I don’t understand them, but I like them.”
Sean Connery
Quote #55
“You are the CEO of your life. Some people need to be hired and some need to be fired.”
Robert Downey Jr.
Quote #56
“Keep seeing the glass half-full and it will dawn upon you that it’s probably your turn to buy.”
Bill Murray
Quote #57
“Never follow someone else’s path; unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path, then by all means, you should follow that.”
Ellen Degeneres
Quote #58
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
Thomas A Edison
Quote #59
“Too much money ain’t enough money.”
Lil Wayne
Quote #60
“You don’t have to be smart to laugh at farts, but you have to be stupid not to.”
Louis C.K.
Quote #61
“The crime of loving is forgetting.”
Maurice Chevalier
Quote #62
“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”
Ellen Degeneres
Quote #63
“Money doesn’t make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Quote #64
“The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.”
Quentin Crisp
Quote #65
“You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.”
Jack Black
Quote #66
“Husbands are like fires – they go out when unattended.”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Quote #67
“Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable.”
Cher
Quote #68
“A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.”
B.L. Taylor
Quote #69
“If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you’ll be married to a man who cheats on his wife.”
Ann Landers
Quote #70
“When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.”
Sacha Guitry
Funny Celebrity Quotes About Life
Funny Celebrity quotes about life are really silly remarks for the most part. If you love a good laugh I am sure that you found these quotes very entertaining, if you didn’t then you must be a really hard person to please. I hope you found these quotes entertaining and motivating in some way.
